Oh dear year of 98, that's the year that I turned ten
In Japanese that translates to sky or heaven
A haven after beaten as present for birthday of cardinal
So with ravens forevermore I taketh refuge
And I declared that I shall never want again
Then found endless colors in my nameless friend
Terms I dedicated to matter of gray
Abduction can't be so different from runaway
Reduction idea of this time its by my own admission
Though with wet tears I see clearly through with blurry vision
Panicking around room with fear and anticipation
Pondering on exit for most expedient escape direction
Should I sneak out bedroom window or dash to front door to make my break
Meanwhile hands fervently shiver and quake, as mind paces what to pack and take
Concerning critical decisions such as which stuffed animal is my favourite
Already got my snacks and warmest blanky in my backpack
----Can God not feel my pain? Does he too not die when child cry?
Why does step dad beat me and mommy? Why does she stay with man who doesn't love me?
Does she too not love me? Does God not love me?
Lost, alone, helpless, ugly, the eternal unloved manifested deep within me
Why is it that lies more than truth is whats deemed to resemble reality?
----No matter how many times a child sees a hand other than its own inflict pain on it, it still sees the blame as its own hands...A mark that does not wash off with strong soaps and long talks...
But I know a family is like a gun, point it in the wrong direction and someone is bound to get killed
And I know inside every man is murderer
In my soul I scream this shall be the last time I bleed for them
Now I got my shit ready to never look back again
Thats when my sister Raquel came in and grabbed hold
Held me and said nothing could be further from the truth
A slight moment of realization of God's unconditional Love, an ethereal understanding of the universe
Every day since then has been a falling out of my mind consumed by death and growth into light and life's eternal breath

Brother Ali clip “the devil has to die where ever he resides, even if hes inside me hes got to die”

Every night I die, Every night I cry, Every night I feel I'm the luckiest alive
Every night I die, Every night I cry, Every night I feel I'm the luckiest alive

Eyedea clip “ devil convinced me I was him”

Always felt God deep inside, child pondering if mirror reflects my devil
Level-headed thoughts that wondering error deflects practical
Practically anyone can feel any pain, but can they feel everyone at once
As young as eight, fear of death was far too great
Hence thinking far beyond an age, if the future is the past then time will never come
So young and dumb, born old n gray in this withered kingdom
Heathen heaving hubris upon others for what was done to Him
'Rinda was the only one who could reach my most closed timid
But humans have perfected nothing but forms of oppression
Do ye yet taste my pain and angst? Let me shove it down your throat
Just like I ate mommy's, transferring psychotic suppression cacophonous
'cept for silent screams that rang bottomless
----“Does my mother know I'm here” I asked “Of course, stay here” they said
Sleepy woozy dreamily drooling the good lie that blurry brain eludes me
Remembering a palace of love as teddy I squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and
fuckin wheeze
Asthmatic constantly at hospitals with listless breeze
So the escape was never a fail, we fight we flight
Blight stain of rigid reach for innocence
Though wind's fury is mightier than sense
Sensationally inundated with wishes of death
The family curse I'll end myself
Locked myself in to smash the evil in the mirror and cut
Tonight, mark my words is where the devil fuckin dies
Tragically the orphan went kicking and screaming home
As if the universe can be connected and simultaneously a demon dwells alone
No, both my elder sister's voices lifted me off that bathroom floor
At gravity's greatest pressure is when the mind soars
----Could not the cold stench of alcohol numb the cold feel of trauma
All the drugs turned to colors and laughter's the best drama
The blood that leaked from my soul was nothing but infinite love
And all the fragments of the mirrors were fractals from above
Yeah, there's been moments where a force compelled to overwhelm
Whether capturer or family I'll make a hell of a run until I die
Yet with animal in heart, I still believe I'm the luckiest person alive

Every night I die, Every night I try, Every night I feel I'm the luckiest alive
Every night I die, Every night I strive, Every night I feel I'm the luckiest alive

An illusion of truth is a black hole that never stops growing, it is your soul being consumed and therefore your mind blind to its game of death...The only feeling of death for the living is resisting what is inside...Truth is an incessant bone projected before you on to everything...For everything outside of you is a reflection of what is inside of you...